your life is waiting

14 May

I showed up to the Jackson County courthouse at 8 am and sat on the non-window (unfortunately) side of a large florescent lit room. I was oriented by a well informed and reasonably fun staff and then I sat, in my non-egronomic 70’s style airport lobby reject seat, waiting for my turn to preform my civic duty, Jury duty that is.

I was sitting next to an average looking young man, probably a little younger than me. We exchanged the usual kind of pleasantries, passing the pencils to the end of the row and such and somehow suddenly I am hearing all about his fiance and how he doesn’t know how much longer that will last. The short version is that he moved down here to Missouri 5 years ago from Michigan to be with this girl. Me misses his large family and the deer hunting, muddy truck, fishing kind of life he grew up with. She thinks that’s too hick-ish, she’s a website designer and of course all her family is here. He likes her family, and seemed to be very engaged in helping out her dad with stuff.

BUT they don’t have similar values, they don’t have complementary interests and neither one is happy living where the other wants to be.

I just told him flat out, dude, you gotta go. He says he’s worried about hurting the family, (not so much her though). I said, really, you know what you need to do.

Later he said he guesses he’s just not very good at actually doing the things he knows he needs to do.

I’ve been thinking about this off and on the rest of the day. (All the trials we were potentially there for were settled out of court, so we got to leave 🙂 ) How many people have I known who have been exactly where he is. Doesn’t matter what the action is, leaving a relationship, a job, starting something new, being authentic, there are a thousand reasons why the thing should be done, and yet, something keeps it from happening.

Fear of the unknown can be paralyzing, there’s no question about that. And I’m the first to say it is wise to take some time to ponder something before jumping. But there comes a point where you are making yourself (and your friends) miserable with your indecision when you really already know what you need to do.

As the window at Creative Nectar Studio says “And the day came when the risk it took to remain in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom” ~Anais Nin

Many of the spiritual seekers I know know exactly what we’re talking about here. When your true calling butts up against your ‘regular life’ it can be painful and complicated to discern what the next step is. So I say again and again, you’ll know what’s yours to do, then you’ll do it. Then you’ll know the next thing and do that.

Unfortunately jury guy was not ready to ‘get’ that. To see that his waiting around is hurting everyone, himself, the girl, the families, his friends. He can’t have the life he wants, and neither can she, until he takes the plunge.

Since I can’t say it to jury guy, I’ll say it to you dear reader, today and every day: Answer the door, your life is waiting!

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